Steady (Pleasant Valley Book 3) by Anna Brooks

Author:Anna Brooks [Brooks, Anna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Novel
Publisher: Anna Brooks
Published: 2017-07-23T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

Polly

Erik’s hand stills in my hair, and I hold my breath as I wait for a response. When I don’t get one and my hands begin to shake, I continue. “I’m sorry, I just—”

“Did you want to be pregnant?”

“I never thought I wanted that, and honestly, it was never something I was in the right place in my life to imagine. Growing up, I tried to survive and only had a dream to make it on my own. Having a family wasn’t even on my radar. I took birth control as an extra precaution.”

This has all come as a shock to me since this afternoon, and I know I haven’t handled it well. I’ve purposely kept my standards low my entire life to avoid disappointment. I’ve been hungry, I’ve been scared, and I’ve been alone. And now I’ve finally gotten to the point in my life where I could see a future with a man. A man who genuinely cares about me. He makes me feel safe, and he showed up at the exact moment I needed him.

If it wasn’t for Erik coming back for me, I have no clue what would have happened that night. I still have nightmares. The fear I used to live with has come back in my dreams, and the only time I know I’m safe again is when I’m with Erik. When he’s touching me or even looking at me from across a room.

Except I’m scared now, and I don’t know why.

“So what changed that?”

“You.” I sniffle and clear my throat. “You changed so much, and I want things with you that I didn’t even know I’d ever be free enough to think about. You make it safe enough for me to dream.”

“Means the world to me that you think that.”

“I was late. Like almost two weeks late. With everything that happened, I didn’t even think about it. But then when I got my period at the diner today, it hit me. And it hurt. It hurt that I realized how badly I wanted that. How badly I want to have a baby. And then the thought of having one with you, having a family with you, made me want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. But just like that”—I snap my fingers—“it was taken away. Something that I instantly wanted with every fiber of my being was ripped away so fast it left marks deep inside that I’m not sure will ever be able to heal.”

I wait for him to say something, but he’s like a damn statue. He’s usually the one who knows the right thing to say.

“And I’m sorry that I’ve been such a bitch to you, but I’ve been trying to process my emotions, and it just… I dunno, it just feels like a hole in my heart.”

He stands so fast, I fall back on the bed. “Erik?”

It’s dark, so I only see his shadow as he walks out of the room. Oh my God, he hates me.

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